Have you ever felt like you might have married the wrong man?

I know what you might be thinking right now... Oh my god, Nisha.. what happened? Nothing! The thing is sometimes when you're arguing with your husband and in so much anger, you probably have this question come flying. I guess every marriage has to go through this period. I'm glad somehow i did have this episode, which is embarrassing to admit though. I felt like i cheated on my husband. But then after we made up, the anger subsided then all the thought just seemed ridiculous. That's when i knew. This is it. No matter how angry you can get with your better half and you probably feel like you want to kill him at that moment*not literally though* somehow when he says the perfect thing, you just realize why you chose him in the first place.
      
Having to talk about this, i started looking back in time. Where i was 8 years ago. I was 22 years old, studying in University, met an adorable man who happens to be my savior. Not only did he safe me physically but also mentally and emotionally. I am and will be forever in debt for that. But today i am married to another man who happens to understand my independence and freedom and loves me for who i am. I still remember the dating period. It was sweet. Being a gentleman, he puts me first, calls me to say hi, pulls out the chair for me, lets me walk inside next to him while he walks at the edge of traffic, allows me to have my favorites, and on and on... Yes.. today we're married. These things on the list has reduced... he forgets to do some of those stuff... but i guess it doesn't matter. Like that skeleton... you can die waiting for the perfect man whom we believe does not exist. And even if he does exist and he looks like Homer... THANKS!! But NO THANKS!!! i rather not... I decided to accept the fact that my husband isn't perfect *he doesn't think so* He's just normal just the way he is. .. but he's real and there for me.


So i guess what i'm trying to say is that cut the men some slack. Clear our heart. Let it go. Life's a journey. It's not a fairy tale..We shouldn't waste our time thinking of what if... since we got something sweet and nice working here, all it takes is a little more effort from both parties. You just need to make some adjustments. I know what you're thinking. Adjustments? Why? But i hate to tell you this, no partnership will ever work without some sort of understanding and adjustments. Only then it would work smoothly. Otherwise you'd end up fighting and arguing..why? because adjustment is compromising..


And when you do take that effort..and compromise.. everything else will fall into place. You would probably feel like it's all meant to be and that you're perfect for each other...and at that time, yes you both are perfect man and woman...but for each other. You might not argue anymore.. cause you understand each other so well. I know i have a lot to work for.. to reach that level, but at least i acknowledge that i am not perfect either.. and before we start pointing fingers for blame.. we should look at ourselves too.. So i guess this is sort of like my 2012 New Year's Resolution... to make effort and compromise....and also to reduce this stubborn inches off my waist...

Why is it so hard to make friends after 30??

Hey..first of all i know it's been so very long since i last posted something here. I really don't know how people do this on regular basis... gosh sometimes when your day is so hectic, you look forward to coming home from work to some rest and peace of mind.. and when i get home.. i just get really lazy especially blogging... hehehehe... excuses...excuses... yeah..yeah...yeah... what's new? Hehehehe sorry.. can't help it.
    
Anyway..lets come to my question in hand. "Why is it so hard to make friends after 30"?? Why? Really? I mean i know when you're in school (either primary or secondary including tuition centers) you get to meet a lot of friends in those venues. It's easy. You guys have so much in common.. you play together.. you joke around.. it's as easy as ABC.. And when you go to college or university, some of your good school friends either decided to follow (as you have probably discussed earlier) you or decided to stay in touch whenever you come home for a visit. Then you complete your studies...and head to the working life.. You realize some of your genuine friends are still around, through the hard and the good times.. But of course sometimes they fail and fall-out-of-friendship... So...now that you're working... you meet some friends in your work place. You take that coffee break, talk about work...and of course gossip... hehehe and movies, life...husbands, wives.. and so much more.. You go out for lunch and share the rest of the stuff too..
                    
Annual dinners, team building events.. and you're simply inseparable... you adore your friends because you realize he/she knows you as well as yourself. Your husbands or wives might not even know you that well. Why? Because these friends are not judgmental and they're sincere. No matter what you guys discuss it's between the 2 of you and it stays between the 2 of you. Now that's a true friendship.
Ask yourselves.. How many  of us are blessed with such friends? Or how many friends do you have? Imagine  you got many friends but they're not genuine or sincere but if you have 1 genuine friend that makes up for everything. It's that simple. But sometimes when you're married... especially if you're a woman, you realize most of your female friends are either married and went their separate ways with their husbands or they moved to different states to work..but mostly married and moved away. Truth be told. So you end up alone. I don't know how these men manage to stay friends with their primary school friends..still... even when they are working... I should salute them... they're good... but i guess there are other issues..lets not talk about it..
Anyway... since my husband is in the entertainment industry...sometimes i get some alone time.. well.. alittle too much for my liking... he goes off to S'pore and other places for comedy shows and work too... I get bored at  home. I do have one really good friend but how often can you keep calling the same friend out on a week... especially when sometimes she's busy with work... so times like this, i wish i had other good friends i can call to come over for a slumber party (stay over) or go out for a drink... or dinner... just hang out... talk girlie things... When i thought well i can just make new friends... i realized it's not easy. Where do i meet them? When you're Christian or Catholic you can meet friends in the common Church they go to. So where should i go? Dance class? Cooking class?? Hmm.... sounds nice but really?

So how do someone make friends after 30? Anyone?

The Journey..

I know what you're thinking... "really? Isn't it too early to have this talk?".... yea... this time i gotta agree with you. It is kinda early to talk about this, but somehow when you're at that turn-point you can't help but to ask where is this life is leading to.. Hmmm i wonder, what if i took all the opposite directions, what if i chose the other option than the ones i have chosen all my life...where would it have landed me.... somehow i feel like there wasn't much that would've been different looking at how my life turned out....i guess... or would it? Don't you have that feeling? Like instead taking the bus, you decided to drive or ... instead of having dinner alone, you decided to call a friend.. or instead of doing engineering, you did performing arts to begin with... would you have been the same? I suppose i'm questioning all the choices i have ever made? Was it meant to be? Being Hindu, it doesn't help as i'm suppose to say that they're meant to be as Hinduism believes in karma and consequences... so it's only rationale to say that life made me choose these choices and today have landed me where i am.. bummer...



Even though my choices landed me here... what would i call my life?? Perfect? Awesome? Sucks? It does makes you wonder..... should i remain sane, optimistic or should i be a little crazy and insane on my choices?  Right now i'm at a cross-road...and i'm thinking hard, should i do this or not? Would it lead to where i am hoping it would or would it be awful and it's too late to change anything because i'm way deep and it's not the direction i want to be in... I need some advice... i'm thinking if i should my do my phd... truth is it isn't all the confusion, just that the choice of field seems a little "new" to me... a little out of my comfort-zone too.... so should i do it? will i regret it later? would i need to consider a new career then? Would that mean i would have to struggle a little to get there like leave the current job? I know any phd study wouldn't be as easy as saying it... 4 years of hard-work.. i guess it isn't easy when you're on your own... nothing is...

I wish i have people to help me... to share the thoughts... get ideas... I wish...


This is so true.... don't you agree? I must say i only got like 2 really good friends whom i can truly rely on time of need. That doesn't mean that i'm not friendly just that i realized the worth of some and decided it's not for me. I'm not selfish either... just that when you got friends that constantly expect things from you but do not engage in any other selfless activity then you know your true friends.. That's how i learnt. The hard way.

The Comedy Event of Asia : KINGS & QUEEN OF ASIA

Hey people..just thought of sharing this news with you guys. Kavin might not be performing but hey i'm a comedy supporter and thought of doing a little marketing for the show (why not right..hopefully someone would do for Kavin too), well i consider it as a part of my responsibility..who knows one day it would be for my huband Kavin directly. 

So this is the flyer they have been handing over...if you didn't get it, well here you go. Have a look. This is like a meeting ground for all comedians from all parts of Asia... Hmm maybe i should just correct myself... Since there's Korea within the Asean region..i must say maybe Koreans, they don't have any sense of humor.. cause apparently they're not involved in this comedy event. So we got Paul Ogata a Japanese but born and raised in USA,  Sugar Sammy an Indian but born and raised in Canada, King Vivek an Indian but born and raised in Hong Kong...hey i dunno bout you guys but isn't there a pattern here??? Seems like comedians are made once a family decided to migrate to a different country and the process screws up their children..and wallah you got some great comedians..but i guess we can't say the same for our own  Harith Iskander and Joanne Kam, the only queen of the show..but i some people constantly get her confused with some drag queen... hey i do not know this for sure..just heard someone mention this.. so be the judge of it yourself...and keep yourself free on 18th & 19th November (KLCC)..come over and i'd guarantee it you'd enjoy it to the max... I have seen all of them perform and i must say they're really good... don't miss the chance....

The Comedy Event of Asia : KINGS & QUEEN OF ASIA

Hey people..just thought of sharing this news with you guys. Kavin might not be preforming but hey i'm a comedy supporter and doing a little marketing for the show, well i consider it as a past of my responsibility..who knows one day it would be for my huband Kavin directly. 

So this is the flyer they have been handing over...if you didn't get it, well here you go. Have a look. This is like a meeting ground for all comedians from all parts of Asia... Hmm maybe i should just correct myself... Since there's Korea within the Asean region..i must add guess they don't have any sense of humor..Hehehehehehe cause apparently they're not involved. So we got Paul Ogata a Japanese but born and raised in USA,  

Finally the decision made.

Gosh... it has been way long since the last time i posted something. Guess it's not as easy as i thought it would be. Trying to multi-task (as my previous post) does seem like a difficult task to do right about now. I'm no goddess with many hands...still, even with a couple of extra hands i don't think it'll be sufficient enough to accommodate what needs to be done. I hope time slows down a little so that we can all make it for our datelines..My husband (thank you baby) is the only one who seems to be following as he was the one who reminded that it has been a while since i have posted anything... hmmm... true..anyway now that i'm back (at least for now) i guess i should tell you what happened so far. The last time i posted, it was about a dilemma, if my husband should leave his job and accept the Astro co-presenter opportunity or should he stay with his engineering job? Finally... you wanna know what happened at the end????

He decided to answer the true calling of his career and accept the Astro position. Congratulations baby.. I'm happy for you. I hope more recognition will come your way with this opportunity. So make the best out of it.. I'm your No1 fan... always 

As much as it was a relieve for both Kavin and i, but once he tendered his resignation, his precious engineering company started to counter offer and yup it was a damn good deal..so bee, you better make it in Astro..hehehehe..not that i'm worried or anything. I'm glad he got a chance to prove to himself and the world that he really got what it takes. I love you so much bee... so you go tiger...Anyway since he already signed the Astro contract, the shooting for the FOOTBALL OVERLOAD has already started.And i thought of sharing something from the show. 

Nope it wasn't just this picture but actually a video of some of the orientation that he had to endure just to prove he's worthy. And boy it was painful to watch, even if it was little funny... bee only a little...i mean it...but hey it's week 2 and it's still on with Kavin in the show, so guess he did a job well done. Congratulations bee..a little too late maybe..but just thought you should know. Anyway..my internet connection sucks big time and its so bloody hard to upload this video. 

Hey.. it worked..!! Finally!! YAY!! But this isn't the loyalty test..it's week 2 show.. so what..you can check it out and leave a comment. I must say i'm proud of my honey pie...way-to-go baby.. 

HELP!!! Decide for me.....

Ok...Have you ever been in a crossroad? Forced to make a decision that might change your life? How do you know the choice you made IS the right one? What if you made a mistake? Can you still go back and un-do it? I guess if you're SUPERMAN, maybe you can change it.. turn-back time and all.... or if you got some-sort of time machine..GREAT!! but since i'm just an ordinary girl next door... I know i couldn't NEVER un-do it...no matter how hard i try. I'm simply impossible.. SO... how to decide???

Adrian Jalaludin & Kavin Jay 

Anyone with any suggestions? Well...basically the situation is THIS: 

1. i'm working... i got commitments (car loan, personal loan, study loan, phone bill) to settle
2. i'm earning average..that if i don't plan my expenses, i end up 'tight' for the month
3. my husband wants to quit his 'day-job' to focus on his "comedy future" (inconsistent pay)
4. He's considering quitting as he's been offered a position as a 'presenter' in some FOOTBALL programme in ASTRO (it only pays half as his current day job)
5. He assures me that his other "freelance" emcee job or standup comedy shows would make up for the lost amount ( i would like to agree)
6. He got commitments too (car loan, house loan, phone&internet bill, maintenance bill)
7. Both of us travel an hour to get to our jobs (traveling expenses)
8. He believes that with his ASTRO opportunity, there would be more "recognition" meaning becoming famous meaning more opportunities (maybe)
9. In the meantime, based on previous experience (once before in 2010 when he got retrenched) he also tried  the full-time comedy thing which was more difficult than said (Feb-July no shows-apparently it's low tide) 

Ok...now tell me .... what would be the best advice to give? I mean i understand about ambition more than anyone else as i have ambitions too. I definitely don't want to stand in the way of my husband's recognition and fame. But judging from the previous experience it back-fired!! That there were months he got no shows at all... then we depended on my salary...(which isn't as much to cover the entire family). Right now, things seems to look better... but i can't pretend what happened, didn't happen.. Or the fact that i'm traumatized... I don't want to ever go back to that feeling of insecurity... Its horrible!!! The un-known...

SO HELP ME DECIDE FOR ME..!!! Should my husband Quit his job or stay???? 

Multi-tasking...

Gosh... i wish i was a 'goddess'... wondering what i mean..? well the other day i saw this picture, it was for my Bioethics Class that i teach in INTI.. it was hilarious..But now i wish i was one.. more hands means more tasks to complete... sigh

Sometimes life is too mediocre..that you wish for many unimaginable things..some way too weird to even  think about it... Anyway.. where am i going with this, well since i like to write, i started this blog, i thought since i like to write this would be the best platform to sort of try how it goes.. It's not enough that you like to write...you need to be able to write too... What you think don't matter at all... visitors should read and like how and what i write..now that's meaningful...if you simply claim to have the passion to write...but people can't make out half-of the things you write... then i guess i should quit...right? So tell me people... do i have what it takes? Any flair at all?? Or do i suck, big time??? Let me know... i truly appreciate it. Keeping a blog isn't as easy as it seems.. time is always against me. Any ideas how to manage time? Don't give me the time-table bullshit... i got 2 word for you...DOESN'T WORK!!! how disciplined are YOU?? I know i'm a lecturer but sorry students.. even i hate it to follow this ridiculous time-table... Anyway.. i guess as long as you're an employee, you can argue as much as you want but at the end of the day, you're still following it.. 

Food...it's all about mouth watering food.......

Hey there.. here i am once again...Well as the topic suggests this one gonna be about food. I don't know about you but i have grown to love food and appreciate cuisine that i never tried before. I must say I used to have some curves on me...damn they're gone now.. :p hahahhahaa.... well truth is when i met my husband i was slimmer and  he spoiled me.. he started introducing me to pretty good food... i think i never knew food can be soooo.. gooood... aaahhhh really i mean it. First we used to go to the common fast food joints like KFC, McD and Dominos..but come to think of it..we ordered alot of those only when we're having those lazy days at home..those lazying-in Saturdays or Sundays... but when we actually do make plans.. being a person who loves to try out new things, both my husband and i, we tend to go far out... i Google for interesting places where people compliment and suggests us to go like those food blogs and we just make it over there and try out the food. 


One of the many places we're been, is NEROFICO in Damansara Heights. I must say i do like the concept. It's cozy and still elegant for a nice romantic dinner for 2...   The first time i went there was to watch my husband perform. Hahahaha... they have this JAZZ and Comedy concept for the entertainment. Kavin Jay was invited to perform and it was a blast. He did so well that they decided to appoint him as their "own" resident comedian.. Two thumbs up baby...you rock!!!


Since this place is so famous, you can see alot of expats. They love the food and definitely the atmosphere. Their menu is pretty much Italian... if you like the pastas.. the Italian salad..the pizzas... YUMM!!! simply mouth watering.. Oh..don't forget to make reservations before you go... then you'll know you will have a table... sometimes walk-ins might not get a place and must sit at the bar.. Check out their website for all the information and the directions of how to get there..there's even a map..The price, well i would say it's pretty affordable..for a nice romantic dinner at least... I'm sure you men wouldn't mind spending abit for your pretty little girl-friend... 

The Atmosphere in Nerofico 

Besides Nerofico... the other place is THE SHIP in Bukit Bintang. I think this one might be quite common among Malaysians.. The food is great.. Apparently they have the best steak in town..so they claim..not that i would know...:p hahahaha... Otherwise the other western cuisines are simple great.. The sizzling lamb chop... pretty good i must say..the only problem for me, was the portion was way big for me...  i had to donate some to my trusty husband..hahahhaha... 

THE SHIP

LAMB CHOP

The only limitation would be the hassle trying to drive there...remember it's Bukit Bintang so there's a crowd of people...walking all over the place..and too many cars too... try to get parking at places like Pavillion or Lot10 and walk..that's alot better than driving in the madness jam. But remember if you do park in Pavillion, there's a small problem too... let me share my experience.... Kavin and i went there for dinner, had dinner and decided to call it a day around 9.30pm.. when we reached Pavillion, we realized it's closing time.. so all the shoppers were also leaving at the same time.. once we reached the parking valet machine, WOW....the queue was horrible... it was like a long snake-queue... with almost 20 people queuing there..in each level... it look so long for us finally to pay up and...it didn't end there... everyone was leaving at the same time that the parking lot was jammed HAHAHAHAHA!!! terrible... so my suggestion is...leave later... :p


Well..besides going out for nice dinners, some times Kavin being the "husband of the year" tends to lavishly spoil me with extravagant meal that he cooks himself... yup you heard right... He cooks!! And boy they are good...yum yum....!!!  This is his attempt at making roasted duck. Just look at it...simple mouth watering....hahahaha... well that's it for now...till then bye... and wipe that saliva...you're drooling... hahahaha

ROASTED DUCK

Back To work......aarrghhh!!!

Hmm... just like our Muslim friends i'm still in the holiday mood...Hari Raya still in the air....I guess it's a Malaysian thing to have the eagerness to  wait for the holidays no matter who's actually celebrating it...for us just to enjoy days off from work...aahhh.... it was fun full week, a whole week.....but sadly it had to come to an end... sadly!! Now..getting up from bed is so hard and being at work, my heart is elsewhere...dreaming off to....what to do? Just have to recover slowly i guess...Well... i thought i was the one feeling like this, but every where i turn i hear the same comments.. Hehehehe

The whole week... i spent watching tv... going out for dinner.. and dreadfully "cleaning my house' ....huhu... what to do, since it's the Raya holidays, my trusty cleaners are off celebrating...so its my duty to keep the house spotless.. washing the bathrooms...mopping the flour.. gosh... my back was killing me.. a cold shower and a nap and i'm all good to go...hehehehe  Yup it was fun..beyond the work too. All this staying at home i thought why not make the most of it...and since i had this canned peach in my fridge my husband been asking for this peach pie that i actually never made before...but then i thought why not... so here's the delicious peach pie...hehehhehe well not self-proclaimed but acknowledged my husband...YAY!! a success.... 

Peach Pie

A couple of days after my peach pie success... then came the day... my mom-in-law's 61st birthday... so no questions asked... the last time when i was still dating my husband i made a cake to impress my in-laws especially for my father-in-law's birthday that time..which everyone said was great... so think about it.. how can i ignore this one.. or just get a perfectly made cake from the bakery.. she'll probably hate me for it... so i thought lets go for it.. went to Cold Storage bought some ingredients i needed and made this piece of art..Hahahahahaha... at least that's how i looked at it... some abstract art... Truth is i didn't like it at all..  it definitely looks like a work by an amateur ..which i am...hahahahha.. but then i mean look at it.. it's a small kid playing with crayons.. gosh it looked easy but when i held the fudge tube and trying to make out words..then i knew it's hard.. damn... 

Home made cake...1st attempt

well it was fun.. i have to admit it... guess i'll be doing more cakes from now on.. try to get it to be more professional looking.. hmmm that'll definitely gonna take a while... hehehehe... So back to work.. sigh... guess i should get back to my classroom preparation then... otherwise i'm gonna be late.. hahahaha.. till the next time... bye... 

My Comedian hubby...

Well.. yup... i'm still hooked onto this...yes yes still... i know.. it's a phase... heheheh  Anyway... Just wanted to promote the "Time Out KL" magazine which presents the Comedy Thursday at ZOUK every 1st Thursday of the month..but this time around since we enjoyed the RAYA holidays for the whole week....so the Comedy Thursday will be on 8th September... YAY!!! Kavin Jay is quite the regular there.. but am not sure if he'll be preforming this coming event... being an engineer and a full time husband :p sure is a handful and tiring enough...but then he got his comedy event happening all over the place too like this Cadbury promotion.. sure is a whole new story to tell...which i think he'll hate me for it...so let me safe it.. but if anything imagine a man in monkey suit.. poor baby.. "working hard for his money" 

anyway..please do come by ZOUK..and you'll know what i'm talking about..it's hilarious...  our local comedians namely Harith Iskander, Papi Zak, Jason Leong, Jonathan Atherton and many more... so drop by... its only RM 25 but if you purchase online its only RM15. Get in touch with the comedians through Facebook or go to the Time Out KL website for more information. I'm telling you it's worth it.. I know what you're thinking.. and yes...alot of them ask the same question.. is he as funny at home as he is on stage.. and the answer is YES!! that's what made me fall for him... He's certainly a funny man.. a whole package..i can't stop laughing sometimes...He's the best..  So if you're reading... Love you bee... XOXO


      

So it's time...

Wow.. i wouldn't have believed if someone told me i'll start my own blog.. i mean yes, it's like the 'craze' now..practically everyone i know seem to have a blog, a journal of some-sort that they often updated about everything really.. i kinda thought that it was waaayy...too much work for me..but now, i guess i'm slowly getting sucked into this is whole thing. So this is my so-called journal. I only started this is a part of my healing process.. HUH??? what healing process you might ask...well there's this book a dear friend of mine borrowed that she found it to be refreshing.. liberating..and of course the "E" word...  nope its not 'easy' to understand...it's enlightening... i'm only in page 40...still along way to go....anyway it requests us to surround us with positive energy and thoughts that the more we kept doing this, we will become a magnet that later absorbs all the more positive energy around us. So... my question is what do we do with the negative energy that we have inside us? I guess i believe in pouring it all out.. the more we pour it out..the more we charge ourselves with the so-called positive energy...hmmm.... ok ok... enough is enough... let me introduce myself... i'm a lecturer at a local private university... a career i feel i'm blessed to have... i'm happily married to a 'stand-up comedian'... yup you heard right... Kavin Jay (Kavin Jayaram)... you might have heard of him.. my life couldn't get any better... but of course i'm a woman...hehehehe... i love shoes...clothes... and other attractive stuffs i wish i can afford... well...let me save that story for some other time.. for now.. i hope you will welcome me into this new bloggers world... i'm an amateur.. so let me know if i'm doing anything wrong or even right... any comments... its welcome..